There are those people in your life…
– who love you unconditionally
– who know better than that
– who will not forgive you
– who ignore you
– who forget you
– who say they forgive you but act otherwise
– who speak lies about you, even though you seek to make amends
– who want nothing to do you with you because you will hurt their reputation
– who are hurtful because they enjoy it
– who are hurtful and they don’t know it
For us addicts, we need to focus on those who love us unconditionally. Yet, the others get in the way. It seems unfair that we are ignored and forgotten in spite of our hard work of sobriety and getting our life together. We cry out, “Look what we are now! We have a good job! Our families are strong! Our lives are getting better!” only to be met with deafening silence.
We admit our faults and own up to our actions. We do not expect special treatment and continually remind ourselves that we have hurt others and the only remedy is to keep our own side of the street clean. We plead and yearn for nothing more than Grace.
We do find Grace and we find it Jesus Christ. It is he who was with us in our dark moments of pain and mental anguish. He was there as we numbed our pain and walked around in a fog knowing deep down there is a better way. He continued to whisper lovingly to us that he is our peace, our lover, our savior, our redeemer and our God. He was also with those we held captive by our actions. Our spouses, our children, our friends and our loved ones. He also whispered to them that he will take care of them.
We hide in the shadows because we know that we are considered bad people. The words loser, druggie, drunk, worthless and pathetic are just some of the labels used to describe us. It is rare to find the person who will call us beloved, worthy and valuable.
So each morning we awake and ask God to help us through this one day. This one day only and knowing that if we can make it through this one day, we have the pleasure to ask him tomorrow for the same thing.
The Prayer of St. Patrick:
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun, Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning, Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea, Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.
I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me;
God’s might to uphold me, God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me, God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me, God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me, God’s shield to protect me,
God’s hosts to save me Afar and near,
Alone or in a mulitude.
Christ shield me today
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me, Christ in the ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation.